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Quaker Weddings
We probably first met as toddlers at Twin Cities Friends Meeting. We were both raised as Friends (or Quakers), and we met again and began our relationship while in the teen group of the Meeting. Our wedding will be at the meeting house and will be held "in the manner of Friends," meaning the ceremony will probably be quite different from any other weddings you've attended.
What's a Quaker wedding?
A Quaker wedding is much like a regular Quaker Meeting for Worship. In a Quaker meeting, everyone gathers together in silent worship, and there is no minister of any kind. If someone feels moved by the Spirit to speak, they stand up and do so.
At our wedding, once everyone is seated, someone will rise and explain the process. After that, everyone will enter a period of silent worship. At some point, we will rise and say our vows to each other and exchange rings. Someone else will then rise and read our wedding certificate aloud and we will sign it. At that point, we will be married, and will return to silent worship. In the following silence, if you feel moved by the Spirit to rise and share a message with the meeting, please do so, but don't feel that you're expected to. Finally, the person who opened the meeting will shake the hands of those around him (which is a signal for everyone to shake hands) and close the meeting.
The certificate
After the meeting is over, our wedding certificate will be available to be signed by everyone who attended the wedding. Please
sign it no matter how long the line - your signature in witness and
recognition of our marriage is very important to us, and our
certificate will be prominently displayed in our home throughout our
lives together. Your signature as one of those who helped us marry
means a great deal to us.
What to wear and bring
18th century Quakers wore the plain dress made famous on quaker oats boxes in keeping with the Testimony of Simplicity. The idea of simplicity in dress has changed with the times, and now usually simply means trying not to waste money on expensive clothes for their status. As a result, the "dress code" at our wedding will be considerably more informal than many. Please wear something comfortable and reasonably nice - you can think "business casual" if that helps. If you're more comfortable in a hat and tails, however, or flip flops and tie-dye, you'll be just as welcome.
Our reception afterwards will be partially potluck, so if you're coming from the local area and can bring something, we would greatly appreciate it. If you feel the need to give us something, we have a registry and you can bring gifts to the wedding or have them sent to us, but your presence is by far the most valuable thing you can give us.
More information
Quaker Weddings
Quakers in general
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